nadialeatz. Michigan

My dad called.
A stared at the phone, watching it ring without thought.
Talking to him freaks me out, even though he’s the kindest man I know.
He’s never said so, I can’t help but think that he thinks of me as a bum. No car, shitty retail job, little ambition. He actually doesn’t know shit about me. I work hard at my shitty retail job. I put my heart into helping people be aesthetically pleasing (as vain as that is) and on a good day, it’s incredibly rewarding.
I got the balls to call my dad back.
We don’t have a thing in common, which leads to my father’s steady rhythm of “well uh”s. I ask about his truck. He talks for 45 minutes and realize how relaxing it actually is. There I was, laying on my bedroom floor, listening to him gab, like I did as a kid on his living room floor while he chatted with a buddy.

In my head, my dad looks like a fit 35-year old who climbs telephone poles for fun and probably has toddlers at home.
When I occasionally see him these days (two or three times a year), I’m always taken aback by how he has changed. He could pass as a grandfather. Well, he is a grandfather, of nine to be exact.
His baby is turning 21 soon. I’m sure that scares the hell out of him, considering his past battle with the bottle. What he doesn’t realize is that I’ve been casually drinking for 6 years, and not a thing will change.
I’ve been wreckless, sure, but not lately. At 15, I stole vodka from the store, put it in Jones Soda bottles, and lined them up on my bedroom windowsill. My mother always mentioned how pretty those bottles of water looked in the sunlight. What a fool she was.
I respect my mom quite a lot more now than I used to. I told her about my vodka bottles, and she just laughed, joked about how they would have drank them, had she known. She’s not much of a parent, but she’s a fantastic friend and openly recognizes me as an adult, unlike my father.

I’m always amazed by the fact that there’s so much music in the world, but so little overlap in sounds. So much is possible.

Sheldon ate half of my muffin from a customer that liked me enough to make me muffins. I’m so mad.

Sheldon ate half of my muffin from a customer that liked me enough to make me muffins. I’m so mad.

Kitten cuddles from this morning. :)

Kitten cuddles from this morning. :)

I was riding by McDonald’s this morning, and my oh my, the line at 7:30am is nauseating.

// A few things://

I have an ever growing playlist (1069 tracks) titled Later. Procrastinator? Well maybe.
I just at an ice cream sandwich with peanut butter cookies and peanut butter ice cream. I considered adding more peanut butter.
I’m turning 21 in less than three weeks and not a thing will change.
I could use a serious butt rub, man.
I get a vacation in… I don’t even know long, but within a couple of months, which is fantastic considering I haven’t had more than two days off in three years. I’m excited, to say the least. I’m going to spend it on the beach with Papa Corn just like I did as a kid, bathing in the icy river, and sleeping on the ground. I need it. I also plan to find many many yoga perches off the side of the river. Wake up, have fire coffee, bike to the river, do some yoga, take a dip, then head to the beach. Rahhhhhhhhh :D

I’m so thrilled. I’m spending the night at my parents. We had dinner, sat around a bonfire, made cookies, played with Shamantea, and got squinty-eyed.
Tomorrow, I’m getting Chinese for lunch with my mama and gonna lazy in the sun with her.

I’d like to think I’ve succeeded in this whole bread bowl thing. @galacticvacationer can take credit for the sauce, I don’t mind.

I’d like to think I’ve succeeded in this whole bread bowl thing. @galacticvacationer can take credit for the sauce, I don’t mind.

This exposed line has done absolutely nothing for me. Can of bread is still in can. HALP.

This exposed line has done absolutely nothing for me. Can of bread is still in can. HALP.

// Duality, Pt. I//

If I’m in a relationship with someone, there has to be a lot of duality to their personality because there is a lot of duality to mine.
I spend half of my time thriving in own interests and being alone. Adventuring through many ideas, topics and projects. I also love spending time thriving in other people’s ideas and socializing. If my partner can’t appreciate both of those sectors of my personality, half of the time, we won’t get along.
My personal style also has a bit of bipolarity. I wake up in the morning, and put on what I feel comfortable with. One day, it’s a darling dress, accessories to match, the next is a button up and some trousers. The latter can put a wrench in a guy’s masculinity, if his own confidence isn’t deeply rooted.